He flew to his feet, and with one fluid motion launched towards her with a bound. With great determination etched across his face the relentless pursuit continued, and it was obvious nothing was going to stand in his way.
"Stop right now!" shouted his mom.
His dad echoing the charge added, "Stop immediately!"
Didn't even slow him down!
The obstacles lying on the floor blocking his path didn't even faze him, and the hands of his mom and dad reaching for him might just as well have been invisible. He just blew right by them continuing his relentless pursuit.
What I just described for you is a natural occurrence around our house lately. It seems our son is serious about his younger sister not picking up something that belongs to him.
Perhaps you have seen it, too!
Many of you reading this probably remember the helicopter video of a chase scene involving, what seemed like, every police officer in Los Angeles and a certain white Ford Bronco. I know I will never forget this example of relentless pursuit that ultimately led to the trial of the century.
There are multiple examples of relentless pursuit one can think of, but I would like to turn our attention to why the definition of marriage is a couple committed to relentless pursuit of one another for life.
I. Couples committed to relentless pursuit of one another are not easily disengaged
Like my son in the story above, it is hard to disengage them from their passionate and relentless pursuit. They embrace a life lived for the enrichment of their spouse, and nothing is going to detour them from that focus. They establish a set of boundaries that govern their commitment to relentless pursuit of one another and then wisely maintain those boundaries.
Neglecting boundaries has been the ally of many an affair.
You know the progression! The conversation at the water fountain at work becomes the laugh by the lockers becomes the lunch by the lake becomes LEG-A-CY replaced for how much LEG-I-SEE.
You're skimming Facebook looking for "Friends" and come across you-know-who. "Should I or Shouldn't I," you question yourself. You shouldn't....you do....and the "I do" promise of your marriage is soon challenged. Sure, there's more going on in this example than Facebook, but we are talking about respecting the boundaries.
The first boundary crossed makes stepping over the next one easier, and before long, the boundary lines become less and less defined. How many affairs could have been prevented with proper respect for the boundaries?
II. Couples committed to relentless pursuit of one another are not easily distracted
My wife and I were grabbing a bite of food at the Mall one night and noticed a young couple coming towards us. The young girl clasped his hand in true vice-grip fashion, and the look of satisfaction on her face was evident. They couldn’t have been more than sixteen, but you could just tell she took pride in being his one-and-only.
As this young couple passed by our table, we almost fell out of our seats laughing about the irony. On the back of the young man's black t-shirt he sported where these words in bold white letters:
EASILY DISTRACTED!
Couples in relentless pursuit of one another may have t-shirts with cute sayings on them, but EASILY DISTRACTED is usually not one of them.
A man in relentless pursuit of his wife discovers that Vivacious Veronica caressing her curves by his cubicle doesn't cast the same spell on him as it does others. A woman in relentless pursuit of her husband hardly notices Ted the Terrific turning his teasing talents of temptations her direction.
III. Couples committed to relentless pursuit of one another are not easily disenchanted
Stan-Land is a place my wife was often accused of going while we were dating. She would be in deep thought about something and someone would tease her about being in Stan-Land. More often than not, by her own admittance, that is exactly where she would be.
Over a decade of marriage later, and with a wiser definition of marriage, guess what? My wife still goes to Stan-Land. I have a confession of my own. I am enchanted by my wife, and practically every day of my life, I go to Jessica-Land. In our marriage, both of us get more and more enchanted with one another as the years go by. Being in relentless pursuit of each other has this magical effect. You see…
…WHAT WE ELEVATE BECOMES WHAT WE CELEBRATE!
When you are a couple committed to relentless pursuit of one another, you can't help but elevate that person's value in your world. As you do this, prepare to be enchanted!
In the book of the Bible "Song of Songs (Song of Solomon)" there is a great example of what relentless pursuit looks like and why it makes for a great definition of marriage.
1 I looked for the one my heart loves;
I looked for him but did not find him.
2 I will get up now and go about the city,
through its streets and squares;
I will search for the one my heart loves.
So I looked for him but did not find him.
3 The watchmen found me
as they made their rounds in the city.
"Have you seen the one my heart loves?"
4 Scarcely had I passed them
when I found the one my heart loves.http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/01/12/article-1113623-0046AD750000044C-353_468x304.jpg
I held him and would not let him go…
So, how about it! Is your definition of marriage a couple committed to relentless pursuit of one another for life? If not, start relentlessly pursuing your spouse and see if you don't find yourself echoing this same sentiment;
"I found the one my heart loves
and I will not let him/her go."
by Stanley J. Leffew
Information on marriage is crucial to the survival of families.
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Friday, February 25, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
Keep The Passion Alive: - Bring Back The Loving Romance!
The honeymoon is over. Maybe you’ve been together a few months, a few years,
or even a lot of years. At some point, though, the early flames of passion will
fade and you’ll start looking for ways to Spark the passion...
Take a moment to read all of this article and share it with your partner...
1. Have Fun Together - Humor can be very intoxicating!
Remember the fun times you had when you first started dating? You
laughed, you played, and you spent time enjoying each other’s company.
There’s no reason for the fun to stop just because you’ve been together
for a while. Share Jokes and Cartoons - watch comedy - Just Laugh More!
Think about some of these options:
·Collect cartoons or jokes that your spouse will enjoy
·Play a game together, like checkers or backgammon
·Do something unexpected to surprise your spouse
·Do a puzzle together
·Make popcorn and watch a favorite movie
Remember: Keep the Relationship built on Trust!
·
2. Be A Fun & Happy Romantic
What did you used to do when the two of you were romancing each other?
Jump start the romance by going back to some of those previous activities
that generated warm feelings. Maybe you used to:
·Eat dinner by candlelight
·Hide a love note in your spouse’s lunch
·Build a fire and relax in front of it
·Take a walk in the moonlight
Read Poetry to each other in the Park on a blanket
·
3. Go Back To Dating like it was! - Remember ?
One way to jump start your relationship is to “date” each other again. Add
to the fun by calling to ask each other out, and the one doing the asking
then plans the date. To make it more challenging, set a budget limit for
the date. You’d be amazed at how much fun it is to be creative and plan
a date for $40 or less.
Once you’re on the date, treat each other as you did when you were first
getting acquainted. Men, open the car door for your lady. Women, put
on a special dress and flirt with your gentleman.
Remember: You deserve to be in a Healthy relationship!
4. Do The Little Things - & it is okay to Be Sensitive
The day-to-day grind of life can really wear you down, and at those times
paying attention to the little things gets harder. It’s more important then
ever, though, that you make the extra effort to do the little things that
your spouse will really appreciate.
You could:
Make a point to give your partner a hug and a kiss each morning
before you leave and each evening when you get home.
Remember to say please and thank you on a regular basis.
Pick the chore your spouse dislikes the most, and do it for him or her
without being asked - wow - what a unique idea!
Say “I love you” often, not just when you think it’s expected...
Being Spontaneous is exciting!
5. Be Physical -Starting with the Brain!
Being physical means touching her arm, a foot massage, a scalp massage,
holding his hand, offering a gentle caress or neck rub after a tough day. And
when the two of you do move towards having sex, don’t just turn out the lights
and get on with it every time. Seduce each other a bit, light some candles and
take a bubble bath together. As pleasurable as sex is, doing the same thing
the same way every time gets boring so spice things up a bit and you’ll be
amazed at what will happen.
or even a lot of years. At some point, though, the early flames of passion will
fade and you’ll start looking for ways to Spark the passion...
Take a moment to read all of this article and share it with your partner...
1. Have Fun Together - Humor can be very intoxicating!
Remember the fun times you had when you first started dating? You
laughed, you played, and you spent time enjoying each other’s company.
There’s no reason for the fun to stop just because you’ve been together
for a while. Share Jokes and Cartoons - watch comedy - Just Laugh More!
Think about some of these options:
·Collect cartoons or jokes that your spouse will enjoy
·Play a game together, like checkers or backgammon
·Do something unexpected to surprise your spouse
·Do a puzzle together
·Make popcorn and watch a favorite movie
Remember: Keep the Relationship built on Trust!
·
2. Be A Fun & Happy Romantic
What did you used to do when the two of you were romancing each other?
Jump start the romance by going back to some of those previous activities
that generated warm feelings. Maybe you used to:
·Eat dinner by candlelight
·Hide a love note in your spouse’s lunch
·Build a fire and relax in front of it
·Take a walk in the moonlight
Read Poetry to each other in the Park on a blanket
·
3. Go Back To Dating like it was! - Remember ?
One way to jump start your relationship is to “date” each other again. Add
to the fun by calling to ask each other out, and the one doing the asking
then plans the date. To make it more challenging, set a budget limit for
the date. You’d be amazed at how much fun it is to be creative and plan
a date for $40 or less.
Once you’re on the date, treat each other as you did when you were first
getting acquainted. Men, open the car door for your lady. Women, put
on a special dress and flirt with your gentleman.
Remember: You deserve to be in a Healthy relationship!
4. Do The Little Things - & it is okay to Be Sensitive
The day-to-day grind of life can really wear you down, and at those times
paying attention to the little things gets harder. It’s more important then
ever, though, that you make the extra effort to do the little things that
your spouse will really appreciate.
You could:
Make a point to give your partner a hug and a kiss each morning
before you leave and each evening when you get home.
Remember to say please and thank you on a regular basis.
Pick the chore your spouse dislikes the most, and do it for him or her
without being asked - wow - what a unique idea!
Say “I love you” often, not just when you think it’s expected...
Being Spontaneous is exciting!
5. Be Physical -Starting with the Brain!
Being physical means touching her arm, a foot massage, a scalp massage,
holding his hand, offering a gentle caress or neck rub after a tough day. And
when the two of you do move towards having sex, don’t just turn out the lights
and get on with it every time. Seduce each other a bit, light some candles and
take a bubble bath together. As pleasurable as sex is, doing the same thing
the same way every time gets boring so spice things up a bit and you’ll be
amazed at what will happen.
Two Keys to a Happy Marriage by Kevin Miller
Almost every marriage starts out as a huge celebration. Together with their family and friends, each couple is full of hopes and dreams for their future life together. But the road to a happy marriage is far from easy. And as today’s divorce statistics demonstrate all too well, many couples opt not to complete the journey.
It would be easy to blame our high rate of marital failure on things like not spending enough quality time together, allowing bitterness and resentment to build in our hearts and failing to keep communication lines open. There’s no end to books, articles and seminars that tell you how to improve these and many other aspects of your relationship. But while quality time, forgiveness and communication are vitally important to creating a happy marriage, if such things aren’t happening, it’s usually a sign of a much deeper problem. And until this problem is addressed, no amount of external behavior modification will work.
To get a hint of what this deeper issue might be, let’s take a look at the following Scripture passage:
One of them, an expert in the law, tested him [Jesus] with this question: "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?"
Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." (Matthew 22:35-40)
I believe that virtually every marital problem can be traced back to one or both partners failing to abide by these two laws. The same is true of any relationship. The minute we begin to focus on our own wants and needs over those of God or our partner; we’re destined for trouble.
Experiencing communication problems in your marriage? How often do you really focus on listening to what your partner (or God) has to say instead of insisting on more airtime? Feeling bitterness and resentment growing toward your partner? When was the last time you brought him or her before the Lord in prayer and truly thanked God for your relationship? Struggling to find quality time together? How about praying with your partner and asking God how he would like you to use your time?
As you begin to do these things, you’ll notice that your focus automatically starts to shift away from you and your desires and over to God and your partner. As a result, communication problems begin to improve, anger and resentment fade away and you naturally want to spend more time together. Of course, you can’t expect such changes to happen overnight. Your relationship is also bound to face financial pressures, childrearing issues and other problems that are beyond your control. But if you commit your relationship to God and make a conscious decision each day to put God and your partner first, your marriage will be able to weather any storm. Not only that; you’ll also have plenty of fun together along the way!
Have you struggled to find happiness in your marriage? Perhaps it’s time you and your spouse invited God to direct your relationship. If you would like to do so, we encourage you to pray the following:
"Dear God, thank you so much for bringing us together as a couple. We know that you have a plan and a purpose for our marriage, and we invite you to forgive the past self-centeredness, come into our lives and relationship and direct our steps from now on. Please give us the grace to put you and each other first every day. Make our relationship a blessing to others. But most of all; make it a blessing to you. Amen."
It would be easy to blame our high rate of marital failure on things like not spending enough quality time together, allowing bitterness and resentment to build in our hearts and failing to keep communication lines open. There’s no end to books, articles and seminars that tell you how to improve these and many other aspects of your relationship. But while quality time, forgiveness and communication are vitally important to creating a happy marriage, if such things aren’t happening, it’s usually a sign of a much deeper problem. And until this problem is addressed, no amount of external behavior modification will work.
To get a hint of what this deeper issue might be, let’s take a look at the following Scripture passage:
One of them, an expert in the law, tested him [Jesus] with this question: "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?"
Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." (Matthew 22:35-40)
I believe that virtually every marital problem can be traced back to one or both partners failing to abide by these two laws. The same is true of any relationship. The minute we begin to focus on our own wants and needs over those of God or our partner; we’re destined for trouble.
Experiencing communication problems in your marriage? How often do you really focus on listening to what your partner (or God) has to say instead of insisting on more airtime? Feeling bitterness and resentment growing toward your partner? When was the last time you brought him or her before the Lord in prayer and truly thanked God for your relationship? Struggling to find quality time together? How about praying with your partner and asking God how he would like you to use your time?
As you begin to do these things, you’ll notice that your focus automatically starts to shift away from you and your desires and over to God and your partner. As a result, communication problems begin to improve, anger and resentment fade away and you naturally want to spend more time together. Of course, you can’t expect such changes to happen overnight. Your relationship is also bound to face financial pressures, childrearing issues and other problems that are beyond your control. But if you commit your relationship to God and make a conscious decision each day to put God and your partner first, your marriage will be able to weather any storm. Not only that; you’ll also have plenty of fun together along the way!
Have you struggled to find happiness in your marriage? Perhaps it’s time you and your spouse invited God to direct your relationship. If you would like to do so, we encourage you to pray the following:
"Dear God, thank you so much for bringing us together as a couple. We know that you have a plan and a purpose for our marriage, and we invite you to forgive the past self-centeredness, come into our lives and relationship and direct our steps from now on. Please give us the grace to put you and each other first every day. Make our relationship a blessing to others. But most of all; make it a blessing to you. Amen."
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