The honeymoon is over. Maybe you’ve been together a few months, a few years,
or even a lot of years. At some point, though, the early flames of passion will
fade and you’ll start looking for ways to Spark the passion...
Take a moment to read all of this article and share it with your partner...
1. Have Fun Together - Humor can be very intoxicating!
Remember the fun times you had when you first started dating? You
laughed, you played, and you spent time enjoying each other’s company.
There’s no reason for the fun to stop just because you’ve been together
for a while. Share Jokes and Cartoons - watch comedy - Just Laugh More!
Think about some of these options:
·Collect cartoons or jokes that your spouse will enjoy
·Play a game together, like checkers or backgammon
·Do something unexpected to surprise your spouse
·Do a puzzle together
·Make popcorn and watch a favorite movie
Remember: Keep the Relationship built on Trust!
·
2. Be A Fun & Happy Romantic
What did you used to do when the two of you were romancing each other?
Jump start the romance by going back to some of those previous activities
that generated warm feelings. Maybe you used to:
·Eat dinner by candlelight
·Hide a love note in your spouse’s lunch
·Build a fire and relax in front of it
·Take a walk in the moonlight
Read Poetry to each other in the Park on a blanket
·
3. Go Back To Dating like it was! - Remember ?
One way to jump start your relationship is to “date” each other again. Add
to the fun by calling to ask each other out, and the one doing the asking
then plans the date. To make it more challenging, set a budget limit for
the date. You’d be amazed at how much fun it is to be creative and plan
a date for $40 or less.
Once you’re on the date, treat each other as you did when you were first
getting acquainted. Men, open the car door for your lady. Women, put
on a special dress and flirt with your gentleman.
Remember: You deserve to be in a Healthy relationship!
4. Do The Little Things - & it is okay to Be Sensitive
The day-to-day grind of life can really wear you down, and at those times
paying attention to the little things gets harder. It’s more important then
ever, though, that you make the extra effort to do the little things that
your spouse will really appreciate.
You could:
Make a point to give your partner a hug and a kiss each morning
before you leave and each evening when you get home.
Remember to say please and thank you on a regular basis.
Pick the chore your spouse dislikes the most, and do it for him or her
without being asked - wow - what a unique idea!
Say “I love you” often, not just when you think it’s expected...
Being Spontaneous is exciting!
5. Be Physical -Starting with the Brain!
Being physical means touching her arm, a foot massage, a scalp massage,
holding his hand, offering a gentle caress or neck rub after a tough day. And
when the two of you do move towards having sex, don’t just turn out the lights
and get on with it every time. Seduce each other a bit, light some candles and
take a bubble bath together. As pleasurable as sex is, doing the same thing
the same way every time gets boring so spice things up a bit and you’ll be
amazed at what will happen.
Information on marriage is crucial to the survival of families.
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Monday, February 14, 2011
Two Keys to a Happy Marriage by Kevin Miller
Almost every marriage starts out as a huge celebration. Together with their family and friends, each couple is full of hopes and dreams for their future life together. But the road to a happy marriage is far from easy. And as today’s divorce statistics demonstrate all too well, many couples opt not to complete the journey.
It would be easy to blame our high rate of marital failure on things like not spending enough quality time together, allowing bitterness and resentment to build in our hearts and failing to keep communication lines open. There’s no end to books, articles and seminars that tell you how to improve these and many other aspects of your relationship. But while quality time, forgiveness and communication are vitally important to creating a happy marriage, if such things aren’t happening, it’s usually a sign of a much deeper problem. And until this problem is addressed, no amount of external behavior modification will work.
To get a hint of what this deeper issue might be, let’s take a look at the following Scripture passage:
One of them, an expert in the law, tested him [Jesus] with this question: "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?"
Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." (Matthew 22:35-40)
I believe that virtually every marital problem can be traced back to one or both partners failing to abide by these two laws. The same is true of any relationship. The minute we begin to focus on our own wants and needs over those of God or our partner; we’re destined for trouble.
Experiencing communication problems in your marriage? How often do you really focus on listening to what your partner (or God) has to say instead of insisting on more airtime? Feeling bitterness and resentment growing toward your partner? When was the last time you brought him or her before the Lord in prayer and truly thanked God for your relationship? Struggling to find quality time together? How about praying with your partner and asking God how he would like you to use your time?
As you begin to do these things, you’ll notice that your focus automatically starts to shift away from you and your desires and over to God and your partner. As a result, communication problems begin to improve, anger and resentment fade away and you naturally want to spend more time together. Of course, you can’t expect such changes to happen overnight. Your relationship is also bound to face financial pressures, childrearing issues and other problems that are beyond your control. But if you commit your relationship to God and make a conscious decision each day to put God and your partner first, your marriage will be able to weather any storm. Not only that; you’ll also have plenty of fun together along the way!
Have you struggled to find happiness in your marriage? Perhaps it’s time you and your spouse invited God to direct your relationship. If you would like to do so, we encourage you to pray the following:
"Dear God, thank you so much for bringing us together as a couple. We know that you have a plan and a purpose for our marriage, and we invite you to forgive the past self-centeredness, come into our lives and relationship and direct our steps from now on. Please give us the grace to put you and each other first every day. Make our relationship a blessing to others. But most of all; make it a blessing to you. Amen."
It would be easy to blame our high rate of marital failure on things like not spending enough quality time together, allowing bitterness and resentment to build in our hearts and failing to keep communication lines open. There’s no end to books, articles and seminars that tell you how to improve these and many other aspects of your relationship. But while quality time, forgiveness and communication are vitally important to creating a happy marriage, if such things aren’t happening, it’s usually a sign of a much deeper problem. And until this problem is addressed, no amount of external behavior modification will work.
To get a hint of what this deeper issue might be, let’s take a look at the following Scripture passage:
One of them, an expert in the law, tested him [Jesus] with this question: "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?"
Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." (Matthew 22:35-40)
I believe that virtually every marital problem can be traced back to one or both partners failing to abide by these two laws. The same is true of any relationship. The minute we begin to focus on our own wants and needs over those of God or our partner; we’re destined for trouble.
Experiencing communication problems in your marriage? How often do you really focus on listening to what your partner (or God) has to say instead of insisting on more airtime? Feeling bitterness and resentment growing toward your partner? When was the last time you brought him or her before the Lord in prayer and truly thanked God for your relationship? Struggling to find quality time together? How about praying with your partner and asking God how he would like you to use your time?
As you begin to do these things, you’ll notice that your focus automatically starts to shift away from you and your desires and over to God and your partner. As a result, communication problems begin to improve, anger and resentment fade away and you naturally want to spend more time together. Of course, you can’t expect such changes to happen overnight. Your relationship is also bound to face financial pressures, childrearing issues and other problems that are beyond your control. But if you commit your relationship to God and make a conscious decision each day to put God and your partner first, your marriage will be able to weather any storm. Not only that; you’ll also have plenty of fun together along the way!
Have you struggled to find happiness in your marriage? Perhaps it’s time you and your spouse invited God to direct your relationship. If you would like to do so, we encourage you to pray the following:
"Dear God, thank you so much for bringing us together as a couple. We know that you have a plan and a purpose for our marriage, and we invite you to forgive the past self-centeredness, come into our lives and relationship and direct our steps from now on. Please give us the grace to put you and each other first every day. Make our relationship a blessing to others. But most of all; make it a blessing to you. Amen."
Monday, January 24, 2011
Cultivating Gratitude In Your Marriage
"To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live gratitude is to touch Heaven." -Johannes A. Gaertner
Most spiritual and psychological traditions speak of the importance of cultivating a sense of gratitude in life, if one is to evolve into higher realms of human existence and consistently experience joy, aliveness and meaning in one’s life. This is especially true here in the Western world, where we are bombarded with the lure and illusory promise of material things from the moment we are born. Our entire consumer-oriented culture is based on convincing people that the real solution to their unhappiness and dissatisfaction in life is that they need to buy something they do not yet have (and often really do not need), and then making them feel even worse if they can’t or won’t buy it. All of our major indices of prosperity and success are based on the idea that consumption is good, and more consumption is better. Consequently, even if we do buy the latest thing, our satisfaction is short-lived and fades as soon as the next new gizmo comes out. As a result, people feel badly if their house "only" has 2000 square feet and their car has not grown to tank-size proportions like the ones they see in their neighbor’s driveway and their boat is only twenty feet long.
But what inner qualities does this entire industry of induced consumption breed in us? Unfortunately, it has created a nation of greedy, envious, self-serving, worried, competitive people who tend to put more attention on what they don’t have then what they have, creating more craving, more desire, more emptiness, and more longing. Compare this attitude with that of the philosopher Epictetus, who said, "He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has."
And this attitude of dissatisfaction exists in a country which has more material prosperity than any country in history. Just how fortunate are we in the United States? According to recent estimates by the United Nations, worldwide, about 24,000 people die every day from hunger or hunger-related causes; some 800 million people in the world suffer from hunger and malnutrition; and 1.6 billion people still live in absolute poverty. If one includes those living in "relative poverty", the poor population across the globe amounts to 3.3 billion, more than half of the entire world. In other words, over 50% of the population on Earth would be thrilled beyond belief to live at the standard of most Americans. And yet for so many of us, it’s still not enough.
Which is where gratitude comes in. We need a major attitude shift if we are to create healthier relationships, more inner serenity, fulfillment and meaningful lives. Cicero once wrote, "Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others." Gratitude paves the way for a host of other very positive qualities to emerge.
How we can cultivate more of this wonderful quality within ourselves and others? We can begin by starting a Gratitude Journal, writing down all things, both great and small, that we are grateful for in our life. Nothing is too small or insignificant to be included, because the scale of gratitude knows no bounds. You can be as grateful for the flower that bloomed today as for the home you live in, the health of your family, and the look in your dog’s eye when you come home. Review your list daily.
In terms of our relationships, we tend to take our spouses, lovers, significant others and friends for granted. There is no greater gift than to tell a loved one how much you appreciate their presence in your life. Countless times while working with couples we have seen resentment and anger melt away in the presence of sincere gratitude and appreciation. Call a friend or relative, or write a letter to let someone know what they mean to you, even if they are healthy and not in crisis. It’s also a wonderful practice to have an entire family express gratitude together on a regular basis; the earlier children start the greater their capacity for gratitude becomes.
The consistent practice of expressing gratitude also reminds us that we do not live alone; we survive only because we are constantly receiving goods from people, from nature, and from spirit. Gratitude helps us to be more aware of the many things that we receive from other people, and realize that our lives depend on the perpetual giving of others, and we feel a deeper responsibility to give more of ourselves. Albert Einstein said, "A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life depends on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the measure as I have received and am still receiving".
In closing, here's a wonderful quote by Melody Beattie:
"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more.
It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity.
It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.
Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today,
and creates a vision for tomorrow".
Most spiritual and psychological traditions speak of the importance of cultivating a sense of gratitude in life, if one is to evolve into higher realms of human existence and consistently experience joy, aliveness and meaning in one’s life. This is especially true here in the Western world, where we are bombarded with the lure and illusory promise of material things from the moment we are born. Our entire consumer-oriented culture is based on convincing people that the real solution to their unhappiness and dissatisfaction in life is that they need to buy something they do not yet have (and often really do not need), and then making them feel even worse if they can’t or won’t buy it. All of our major indices of prosperity and success are based on the idea that consumption is good, and more consumption is better. Consequently, even if we do buy the latest thing, our satisfaction is short-lived and fades as soon as the next new gizmo comes out. As a result, people feel badly if their house "only" has 2000 square feet and their car has not grown to tank-size proportions like the ones they see in their neighbor’s driveway and their boat is only twenty feet long.
But what inner qualities does this entire industry of induced consumption breed in us? Unfortunately, it has created a nation of greedy, envious, self-serving, worried, competitive people who tend to put more attention on what they don’t have then what they have, creating more craving, more desire, more emptiness, and more longing. Compare this attitude with that of the philosopher Epictetus, who said, "He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has."
And this attitude of dissatisfaction exists in a country which has more material prosperity than any country in history. Just how fortunate are we in the United States? According to recent estimates by the United Nations, worldwide, about 24,000 people die every day from hunger or hunger-related causes; some 800 million people in the world suffer from hunger and malnutrition; and 1.6 billion people still live in absolute poverty. If one includes those living in "relative poverty", the poor population across the globe amounts to 3.3 billion, more than half of the entire world. In other words, over 50% of the population on Earth would be thrilled beyond belief to live at the standard of most Americans. And yet for so many of us, it’s still not enough.
Which is where gratitude comes in. We need a major attitude shift if we are to create healthier relationships, more inner serenity, fulfillment and meaningful lives. Cicero once wrote, "Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others." Gratitude paves the way for a host of other very positive qualities to emerge.
How we can cultivate more of this wonderful quality within ourselves and others? We can begin by starting a Gratitude Journal, writing down all things, both great and small, that we are grateful for in our life. Nothing is too small or insignificant to be included, because the scale of gratitude knows no bounds. You can be as grateful for the flower that bloomed today as for the home you live in, the health of your family, and the look in your dog’s eye when you come home. Review your list daily.
In terms of our relationships, we tend to take our spouses, lovers, significant others and friends for granted. There is no greater gift than to tell a loved one how much you appreciate their presence in your life. Countless times while working with couples we have seen resentment and anger melt away in the presence of sincere gratitude and appreciation. Call a friend or relative, or write a letter to let someone know what they mean to you, even if they are healthy and not in crisis. It’s also a wonderful practice to have an entire family express gratitude together on a regular basis; the earlier children start the greater their capacity for gratitude becomes.
The consistent practice of expressing gratitude also reminds us that we do not live alone; we survive only because we are constantly receiving goods from people, from nature, and from spirit. Gratitude helps us to be more aware of the many things that we receive from other people, and realize that our lives depend on the perpetual giving of others, and we feel a deeper responsibility to give more of ourselves. Albert Einstein said, "A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life depends on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the measure as I have received and am still receiving".
In closing, here's a wonderful quote by Melody Beattie:
"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more.
It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity.
It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.
Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today,
and creates a vision for tomorrow".
Creating an Honest, Truthful Relationship That Last
One of the greatest joys and challenges of conscious, intimate relationships is that when we answer the call to love, we are invited to expand upon who we think we are, who we have been and what we feel and think we are capable of. We are invited by forces larger than ourselves to become a more complete, fuller, more loving human being. We are asked to participate in a process that is at once mysterious, exhilarating and terrifying.
When we answer this most compelling call, a part of us dives headlong into the fray, eager for the possibility of a deeper, more intimate connection than we have experienced before. Recent research indicates that during the early stages of being in love, our brains may secrete a powerful amphetamine-like neurotransmitter called phenylethylamine, bathing our central nervous system with an overdose of nature's most potent love cocktail. We are filled with ecstasy and vision and all our circuits are brilliantly lit up. In this heavenly state we are capable of extraordinary acts of unselfish love and caring that occur almost effortlessly.
When we return to earth, however, we are left with our vision of who we can be and the reality of who we think we are. The call to love is always to go deeper and farther than before and if we choose to answer the call, we will inevitably be confronted with a series of choices. One choice is to make a conscious decision of how committed we are to the truth. Have you been committed to truth in your previous relationships? If not, what was the consequence of not committing to truth? And now that you re in a new relationship, are you going to make a conscious commitment for the fullest, deepest, most honest connection you can or are you going to settle for less than that? How far do you want to try to go together? We encourage couples to discuss this openly and consciously, rather than let it play out unconsciously and indirectly as it so often does.
Every time we act and speak from truth, we invite our partner to do the same. Our journey continues to expand and deepen. The equation is simple: Truth = Love = Deeper Connection = Expansion = Greater Opening to Spirit. But if commitment to truth brings such wonderful things to our lives, why is it so rare and so hard? Why are there so many lies, so many affairs, so much hurt and anger being acted out indirectly? Whenever we consider lying to ourselves or our partners, we generally do so to protect some part of ourselves which feels afraid or inadequate. We want to appear better than we are and a little white lie won't hurt anyway, we tell ourselves. It's not really a big deal. What they don't know won't hurt them. We believe it IS a big deal if you compromise and limit the vision of love that the two of you have been called to create. It IS a big deal if you damage the foundation of trust which underlies any successful partnership. It IS a big deal if you re-create patterns of secrets and hiding that you learned in your families of origin. It IS a big deal if you set a precedent of withholding or distorting the honest reality that you experience individually and together. Each time that we distort the truth, we constrict and limit our original call to love and restrict the depth of what we can become. We slip back into the cocoon of our limiting beliefs about ourselves and what we are capable of as human beings.
When we work with couples and encourage them to make a solid commitment to the truth, they often say things like, ''Well I'm afraid to tell her what I really feel... she might leave me'' or ''If he knew that I had done that, he'll hate me forever, so I can't tell him'' or ''If she knew that I wanted to do X, Y and Z sexually, she'd think I was sick.'' At the core, it's always a fear that the truth will not set you free but will unleash a torrent of anger or rejection. But if your relationship cannot handle the truth, then what do you have anyway? If you and your partner are merely colluding with each other to stay in safe territory and avoid difficult issues, then you are settling for much less than what your call to love has invited you to experience.
Commitment to the truth can be uncomfortable and scary at times, but it is also the surest path to ongoing growth and deepening connection available to conscious relationship partners. We encourage everyone to make that commitment and pass it on through words and deeds to your children. If you have struggled with this in the past, be honest about that. And take steps to understand why you might have been less than honest. What healing needs to take place within you so that you no longer need to hide or appear different than who you really are? And remember, the commitment to the truth is not a commitment to always talking about something negative! The truth can be how grateful you feel to be in this relationship or how wonderful it feels to be with someone who shares your vision of an intimate relationship.
We are all capable of greater acts of love and truth than we may believe. We are all capable of being more honest, more clear, more loving, more unselfish. By honoring the original vision that called us to love at this time, we can commit to the truth of what we are experiencing and commit to communicating it to our partners on a regular basis. That is the process that truly will set you and your partner free - to experience the deepest and highest connection possible.
If you or your partner are having difficulty manifesting truth and honesty in your relationship, or there has been a betrayal of trust in the past or present, call us at (248) 546-0407 and let us show you how you can heal the hurts and resentments from the past and create a healthy, loving relationship that will last a lifetime.
When we answer this most compelling call, a part of us dives headlong into the fray, eager for the possibility of a deeper, more intimate connection than we have experienced before. Recent research indicates that during the early stages of being in love, our brains may secrete a powerful amphetamine-like neurotransmitter called phenylethylamine, bathing our central nervous system with an overdose of nature's most potent love cocktail. We are filled with ecstasy and vision and all our circuits are brilliantly lit up. In this heavenly state we are capable of extraordinary acts of unselfish love and caring that occur almost effortlessly.
When we return to earth, however, we are left with our vision of who we can be and the reality of who we think we are. The call to love is always to go deeper and farther than before and if we choose to answer the call, we will inevitably be confronted with a series of choices. One choice is to make a conscious decision of how committed we are to the truth. Have you been committed to truth in your previous relationships? If not, what was the consequence of not committing to truth? And now that you re in a new relationship, are you going to make a conscious commitment for the fullest, deepest, most honest connection you can or are you going to settle for less than that? How far do you want to try to go together? We encourage couples to discuss this openly and consciously, rather than let it play out unconsciously and indirectly as it so often does.
Every time we act and speak from truth, we invite our partner to do the same. Our journey continues to expand and deepen. The equation is simple: Truth = Love = Deeper Connection = Expansion = Greater Opening to Spirit. But if commitment to truth brings such wonderful things to our lives, why is it so rare and so hard? Why are there so many lies, so many affairs, so much hurt and anger being acted out indirectly? Whenever we consider lying to ourselves or our partners, we generally do so to protect some part of ourselves which feels afraid or inadequate. We want to appear better than we are and a little white lie won't hurt anyway, we tell ourselves. It's not really a big deal. What they don't know won't hurt them. We believe it IS a big deal if you compromise and limit the vision of love that the two of you have been called to create. It IS a big deal if you damage the foundation of trust which underlies any successful partnership. It IS a big deal if you re-create patterns of secrets and hiding that you learned in your families of origin. It IS a big deal if you set a precedent of withholding or distorting the honest reality that you experience individually and together. Each time that we distort the truth, we constrict and limit our original call to love and restrict the depth of what we can become. We slip back into the cocoon of our limiting beliefs about ourselves and what we are capable of as human beings.
When we work with couples and encourage them to make a solid commitment to the truth, they often say things like, ''Well I'm afraid to tell her what I really feel... she might leave me'' or ''If he knew that I had done that, he'll hate me forever, so I can't tell him'' or ''If she knew that I wanted to do X, Y and Z sexually, she'd think I was sick.'' At the core, it's always a fear that the truth will not set you free but will unleash a torrent of anger or rejection. But if your relationship cannot handle the truth, then what do you have anyway? If you and your partner are merely colluding with each other to stay in safe territory and avoid difficult issues, then you are settling for much less than what your call to love has invited you to experience.
Commitment to the truth can be uncomfortable and scary at times, but it is also the surest path to ongoing growth and deepening connection available to conscious relationship partners. We encourage everyone to make that commitment and pass it on through words and deeds to your children. If you have struggled with this in the past, be honest about that. And take steps to understand why you might have been less than honest. What healing needs to take place within you so that you no longer need to hide or appear different than who you really are? And remember, the commitment to the truth is not a commitment to always talking about something negative! The truth can be how grateful you feel to be in this relationship or how wonderful it feels to be with someone who shares your vision of an intimate relationship.
We are all capable of greater acts of love and truth than we may believe. We are all capable of being more honest, more clear, more loving, more unselfish. By honoring the original vision that called us to love at this time, we can commit to the truth of what we are experiencing and commit to communicating it to our partners on a regular basis. That is the process that truly will set you and your partner free - to experience the deepest and highest connection possible.
If you or your partner are having difficulty manifesting truth and honesty in your relationship, or there has been a betrayal of trust in the past or present, call us at (248) 546-0407 and let us show you how you can heal the hurts and resentments from the past and create a healthy, loving relationship that will last a lifetime.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Easy Steps for Nurturing Your Marriage By: Jacey Reynolds
Admit it. You've done it before and you'll do it again. You may even be doing it right now as you're reading this article. The "it" I'm talking about? Ignoring your husband! You remember him—that guy who schleps off to work every day, checks the fluids in your car, and has a key to your house?
I confess, as a busy woman, I too am guilty of this offense. Just last night my husband asked me to do him a small favor, and I sarcastically told him I'd "get right on it," as if I had nothing else on my schedule. So without a conscious effort, I made sure he knew just where he fell on my list of priorities. You guessed it—right at the bottom. After paying some bills, checking my email, and wiping down the kitchen counters, I was exhausted and ready to end my day. I eventually got around to helping my husband the next morning, and that's what's important, right?
Well, not quite. I know I could have handled the situation better by giving my husband the help he needed when he needed it—or at least avoided the sarcastic tone and bad attitude when I told him it would have to wait. How many other moms have found themselves in similar situations?
Busy women, I have a challenge for us all! A proposal that we resume paying some attention to those men who were once, however briefly, the focal point of our existence.
So how can we care for our husbands more when our daily lives are already crammed full of to-dos? My solution comes in the form of a little list I compiled and hung on my refrigerator. It suggests small yet powerful ways that we can show love to our mates:
# Put your arm around your husband. Hug him and kiss him for no reason at all—he may wonder what you're up to!
# Hold his hand when you go places together. Did you know touch is one of the most powerful expressions of love and can actually alter our physical and emotional states?
# Show extra compassion when he is sick. Fluff his pillow and tuck him in bed. Offer to make him tea or run a bath for him. Warm his towel in the dryer when he's ready to get out of the water.
# Write him a note or buy him a card and leave it in his shirt pocket, his briefcase, his lunchbox, or on the dashboard in his car. My husband loves this one!
# Don't forget to spend some time alone together. Plan a date night! Make the dinner reservations, buy tickets to the game, hire the babysitter, and enjoy time as a couple.
# Massage his back, neck, or feet for 20 minutes. What a simple way to help him relax and show you care. (And while you're doing this unselfishly, there's always a chance he'll return the favor some time!)
# Without mentioning it to your husband, do a household chore that is normally his responsibility.
# The next time you start to spend five dollars on yourself, spend it on him instead. He'll enjoy the gift and the realization that you were thinking about him.
# Make it a point to say something kind about your husband to someone else. He probably won't even know you've done this, but it will make you feel good and can change the way you look at him. You may be surprised at how well this works!
# Thank him for the everyday things: being a good provider, a good husband, taking out the trash, or making dinner after a busy day.
# Surprise him with his favorite meal for no reason.
# Talk to him about current events (yes, even sports!) that interest him, even if they don't interest you.
# If you pray together, be sure to vocalize thanks for him in your prayers. It will mean a lot to him to hear your gratefulness. You'll be amazed at the closeness this can create between two people.
# You and your husband probably work hard to earn money. Spend that money wisely. Excessive debt and shortage of money puts unnecessary strain on a marriage and will stress you both out, making everyone grouchy.
# When you run errands, be sure to ask him if he needs or wants anything. In other words, be thoughtful.
# Be sociable and friendly with his friends, work associates, and family, no matter how you really feel about them.
# Be polite. Say "please," "thank you," and "you're welcome." We often have a tendency to be more polite to strangers and mere acquaintances than we are to the ones we love most.
# Praise him sincerely for a job well done. Tell him how great the newly painted nursery looks or that the landscaping he put in is terrific.
# Spend time talking about his dreams and goals—and yours. Communication is key to a healthy marriage.
# Say "I love you!"
This list may not work miracles, but doing just one of the suggested items each day can help you rekindle some of the spark that you once had with the man in your life. Try it every day for a week. You're sure to see a difference, not only in your marriage, but in your entire family as well. Remember, happy couples are the foundation for happy families!
I confess, as a busy woman, I too am guilty of this offense. Just last night my husband asked me to do him a small favor, and I sarcastically told him I'd "get right on it," as if I had nothing else on my schedule. So without a conscious effort, I made sure he knew just where he fell on my list of priorities. You guessed it—right at the bottom. After paying some bills, checking my email, and wiping down the kitchen counters, I was exhausted and ready to end my day. I eventually got around to helping my husband the next morning, and that's what's important, right?
Well, not quite. I know I could have handled the situation better by giving my husband the help he needed when he needed it—or at least avoided the sarcastic tone and bad attitude when I told him it would have to wait. How many other moms have found themselves in similar situations?
Busy women, I have a challenge for us all! A proposal that we resume paying some attention to those men who were once, however briefly, the focal point of our existence.
So how can we care for our husbands more when our daily lives are already crammed full of to-dos? My solution comes in the form of a little list I compiled and hung on my refrigerator. It suggests small yet powerful ways that we can show love to our mates:
# Put your arm around your husband. Hug him and kiss him for no reason at all—he may wonder what you're up to!
# Hold his hand when you go places together. Did you know touch is one of the most powerful expressions of love and can actually alter our physical and emotional states?
# Show extra compassion when he is sick. Fluff his pillow and tuck him in bed. Offer to make him tea or run a bath for him. Warm his towel in the dryer when he's ready to get out of the water.
# Write him a note or buy him a card and leave it in his shirt pocket, his briefcase, his lunchbox, or on the dashboard in his car. My husband loves this one!
# Don't forget to spend some time alone together. Plan a date night! Make the dinner reservations, buy tickets to the game, hire the babysitter, and enjoy time as a couple.
# Massage his back, neck, or feet for 20 minutes. What a simple way to help him relax and show you care. (And while you're doing this unselfishly, there's always a chance he'll return the favor some time!)
# Without mentioning it to your husband, do a household chore that is normally his responsibility.
# The next time you start to spend five dollars on yourself, spend it on him instead. He'll enjoy the gift and the realization that you were thinking about him.
# Make it a point to say something kind about your husband to someone else. He probably won't even know you've done this, but it will make you feel good and can change the way you look at him. You may be surprised at how well this works!
# Thank him for the everyday things: being a good provider, a good husband, taking out the trash, or making dinner after a busy day.
# Surprise him with his favorite meal for no reason.
# Talk to him about current events (yes, even sports!) that interest him, even if they don't interest you.
# If you pray together, be sure to vocalize thanks for him in your prayers. It will mean a lot to him to hear your gratefulness. You'll be amazed at the closeness this can create between two people.
# You and your husband probably work hard to earn money. Spend that money wisely. Excessive debt and shortage of money puts unnecessary strain on a marriage and will stress you both out, making everyone grouchy.
# When you run errands, be sure to ask him if he needs or wants anything. In other words, be thoughtful.
# Be sociable and friendly with his friends, work associates, and family, no matter how you really feel about them.
# Be polite. Say "please," "thank you," and "you're welcome." We often have a tendency to be more polite to strangers and mere acquaintances than we are to the ones we love most.
# Praise him sincerely for a job well done. Tell him how great the newly painted nursery looks or that the landscaping he put in is terrific.
# Spend time talking about his dreams and goals—and yours. Communication is key to a healthy marriage.
# Say "I love you!"
This list may not work miracles, but doing just one of the suggested items each day can help you rekindle some of the spark that you once had with the man in your life. Try it every day for a week. You're sure to see a difference, not only in your marriage, but in your entire family as well. Remember, happy couples are the foundation for happy families!
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
5 Ways to Make Your Woman Deliriously Happy By Otto Collins
Steven is looking for advice. He wants to make his wife happy and keep her satisfied. No, he wants her to be deliriously happy!
He knows too many people whose marriages have ended lately. Whether it was from cheating, incessant arguing or unsolvable differences of opinion on major issues, these people just couldn't make one another happy and so their relationships ended-- often in very painful ways.
It's not just that Steven wants to avoid the emotional pain that usually accompanies divorce, he also loves his wife deeply. He truly cares about her happiness and wants to be a source of joy for her and not one of irritation or worse
Your reasons for wanting to make your woman happy (maybe even deliriously happy) could be different from Steven's reasons. Perhaps you would like to have a more enjoyable experience of your relationship too. You know that helping make your partner happy will ultimately help you too.
There's nothing wrong with acknowledging that keeping your woman happy also benefits you too! Let's face it. A happier partner inevitably means a more harmonious, fun and passionate relationship for both of you.
It's a win-win.
If you're looking for ways to make your woman happy, try these 5 tips...
#1: Be present.
It's nearly impossible for your woman to be happy with you and your relationship if you spend most of the time when you're interacting with her thinking about something else or otherwise distracted. Catch yourself when your attention wanders and then consciously bring it back.
Be willing to ask your partner to wait until you finish up a project so that you can make her your primary focus-- even if it's only for a limited period of time. The importance of doing this cannot be understated.
#2: Follow through.
Keep your word. Yes, there are things that come up that you might not have anticipated. Do your best to follow through on agreements you have with your woman and on promises you've made. If, for some reason, you can't follow through, be honest about it and let her know you are willing to make a different agreement that will meet her needs and yours too.
If you find that you are regularly having to renegotiate agreements because you can't seem to follow through, take this as a wake-up call. You might be saying "Yes" when you haven't fully thought things through. Or, you might need to shift some of your priorities around so that you CAN keep your word more of the time.
#3: Show her that she's special to you.
When you feel inspired by how much you love your partner and how special she is to you, let it show. Whether you choose to buy her a gift, treat her to something extra-ordinary or just speak to her about how you are feeling, let her know how important she is to you and how much you adore her.
When your words or gestures are genuine and heart-felt she will feel it too. This is bound to bring a smile to her face.
#4: Share with her.
There's nothing connecting or happy about feeling shut out of your partner's life. Keep this in mind when you are tempted to withhold from your woman important information. Even if your intention is to shield her from some difficulty you are having, think again.
You can share honestly with your partner about whatever you are going through in ways that won't amount to dumping on her or showing weakness. In fact, it takes a lot of courage to be real with the one you love about not only the easy and joyful stuff of life, but the challenges too.
#5: Really listen to her.
Too many men don't fully listen to their woman. It might be that you assume you already know what she's going to say about a particular topic. It could be that you've made up your mind and you aren't open to hearing a different point of view. It might also be that you are used to not listening in an engaged way to your partner and so you continue that habit (possibly without even knowing you are doing it).
Just about everyone enjoys feeling listened to and understood. Even if you assume that you and your partner won't agree about the subject, listen anyway. You can still maintain your position and also connect with your woman and make her happy.
I know, you probably already knew all of these tips. The power is not so much in knowing what to do, but in actually doing it-- as consistently and with as much heart as you can. Take this list as a reminder and challenge yourself to do at least one of these things with your woman today.
That's the true secret to making your woman deliriously happy.
(ArticlesBase SC #3804505)
He knows too many people whose marriages have ended lately. Whether it was from cheating, incessant arguing or unsolvable differences of opinion on major issues, these people just couldn't make one another happy and so their relationships ended-- often in very painful ways.
It's not just that Steven wants to avoid the emotional pain that usually accompanies divorce, he also loves his wife deeply. He truly cares about her happiness and wants to be a source of joy for her and not one of irritation or worse
Your reasons for wanting to make your woman happy (maybe even deliriously happy) could be different from Steven's reasons. Perhaps you would like to have a more enjoyable experience of your relationship too. You know that helping make your partner happy will ultimately help you too.
There's nothing wrong with acknowledging that keeping your woman happy also benefits you too! Let's face it. A happier partner inevitably means a more harmonious, fun and passionate relationship for both of you.
It's a win-win.
If you're looking for ways to make your woman happy, try these 5 tips...
#1: Be present.
It's nearly impossible for your woman to be happy with you and your relationship if you spend most of the time when you're interacting with her thinking about something else or otherwise distracted. Catch yourself when your attention wanders and then consciously bring it back.
Be willing to ask your partner to wait until you finish up a project so that you can make her your primary focus-- even if it's only for a limited period of time. The importance of doing this cannot be understated.
#2: Follow through.
Keep your word. Yes, there are things that come up that you might not have anticipated. Do your best to follow through on agreements you have with your woman and on promises you've made. If, for some reason, you can't follow through, be honest about it and let her know you are willing to make a different agreement that will meet her needs and yours too.
If you find that you are regularly having to renegotiate agreements because you can't seem to follow through, take this as a wake-up call. You might be saying "Yes" when you haven't fully thought things through. Or, you might need to shift some of your priorities around so that you CAN keep your word more of the time.
#3: Show her that she's special to you.
When you feel inspired by how much you love your partner and how special she is to you, let it show. Whether you choose to buy her a gift, treat her to something extra-ordinary or just speak to her about how you are feeling, let her know how important she is to you and how much you adore her.
When your words or gestures are genuine and heart-felt she will feel it too. This is bound to bring a smile to her face.
#4: Share with her.
There's nothing connecting or happy about feeling shut out of your partner's life. Keep this in mind when you are tempted to withhold from your woman important information. Even if your intention is to shield her from some difficulty you are having, think again.
You can share honestly with your partner about whatever you are going through in ways that won't amount to dumping on her or showing weakness. In fact, it takes a lot of courage to be real with the one you love about not only the easy and joyful stuff of life, but the challenges too.
#5: Really listen to her.
Too many men don't fully listen to their woman. It might be that you assume you already know what she's going to say about a particular topic. It could be that you've made up your mind and you aren't open to hearing a different point of view. It might also be that you are used to not listening in an engaged way to your partner and so you continue that habit (possibly without even knowing you are doing it).
Just about everyone enjoys feeling listened to and understood. Even if you assume that you and your partner won't agree about the subject, listen anyway. You can still maintain your position and also connect with your woman and make her happy.
I know, you probably already knew all of these tips. The power is not so much in knowing what to do, but in actually doing it-- as consistently and with as much heart as you can. Take this list as a reminder and challenge yourself to do at least one of these things with your woman today.
That's the true secret to making your woman deliriously happy.
(ArticlesBase SC #3804505)
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